Some days…

Some days are great, the sun shines even through the clouds. I can see the future, the forest, and the fun… even if the rain is pouring down.

Some days are difficult, the sun shines but I don’t feel the warmth. I can’t see anything but the fog, the fakes, and the facts…. even while we laugh.

Most days are amazing, the weather doesn’t matter because the climate is steady. I feel everything the fascination, the frenzy, the fangirling.

The trick is to remember that no matter what, no matter where, and no matter why, if you call for me, I will be by your side.

 

 

DaDoo

Don’t think about it just feel it

Anyone can do it but not do it well

Destiny can be tricky but never avoided

Determination on both ends got us here

Offering  unconditional Love will guide us forward

Opportunity is here and our mission is clear

Delicately raise another beautiful soul

Love them and instill them with all that we know

Ensure they are protected, help them grow

 

 

 

Insomnia

Mommy loves daddy

But daddy doesn’t love mommy that way

She keeps him prisoner

Holding obligation over his head like and anvil

Any moment he could walk

At any moment that weight can crash down

Why do I force you to stay

Where I know your heart is not

Why do I feel this

When you clearly feel it for her

Who is happier, you or I

Sometimes I fear it’s only on mine

To the Left

Just a little farther, I think to myself as he sits on the bench. Just inch a little further to the left…

It’s a funny thing those dark eyes. You really only get to see them shine in the light. Light eyes are easy to love. You see them all the time. But the brown ones? Those dark pools of onyx are magical. In the light, oh in the light!

There it is, in that light I see the gold highlights, the auburn embers, the hot-colored speckles of passionate red.

It’s mesmerizing, intoxicating, and comforting all at the same time. I crave that sunlight, I need it. Now if you could move a little to your left…

 

Inside

Please don’t stop

I’m sure I understand

Are you ready as I am

Do you feel the same

Are you ready to begin a new life

With each breathe I get closer

I feel you there too

If it happens together

If you finally do

I’m begging you honey

You have the key

Unlock this puzzle

Reveal level three

Tied

Tattered and tangled I pull from my pocket

A length of string, but don’t know where I got it

Red in color and as thin as a hair

You almost can’t see it, but I know it’s there

It twists and it turns before kinking in knots

Still have trouble keeping it from my thoughts

Impossible to release and unable to forget

The ending of this story seems to me: dead set

Press me for details and none you will get

For I have secrets here that are too delicate

Sharing with you just doesn’t make sense

I’d rather be elsewhere, please don’t take offense

For that string in my pocket is fit to be tied

And the other end I know I must find

Destiny and Love might await my arrival

But to be truthful I’d be content with survival

I’ll take up this voyage, and set my course

Untangle the line, and discover it’s source

My Love I am coming, it’s frightfully true

There is nowhere to hide, “I’ll find You”

The Wound

First time I anticipated the cut and saw the steel of the blade before it ever pierced the skin

The second time I was not so lucky,  it entered next to the first while that one was still barely stitched together

One puncture was now two gaping holes, and neither one given any time to heal like it needed

I was undeserving of medical care and left alone to lick my gashes, given salt from time to time to remind me

Years passed in the same cycle: pick till it bleeds, rub, pain, remember your mistake, punish yourself

Over and over again until the scar still shows the thick keloiding that comes with a repeated assault

A reminder so large now that there is no way to ignore it and no way to pretend you don’t know what caused it

The size and shape make it clear to all those who glimpse it what came before, and how I healed it

The horrors that brought that reminder, the actions of mine that brought on the attack and how I felt I deserved it

I remember every moment in exquisite agony every time I pick at it, I punish myself by making it bigger, adding to the layers of scar tissue

But no more, today I have finally been given the tool needed to lop off the entire scar

It will cut deep into my skin and free me from the prison of my own obsessive need to relive the trauma

This is the chance to finally let go of the raised ugly scar and behaviour that imprisons me

It will be a painful complicated surgery without anesthesia, going possibly down to the bone

Every possible bit of scar tissue will be removed, no chance taken this time with the proper doctor in tow

Surgery will leave a permanent mark but this scar will be different, stitched together with precision and given the proper aftercare

Allowed to heal the right way, in a calm relaxing environment and with an attentive nurse to watch over my progress

I’ll trade the old complicated oozing scar that plagued me, for a deep red line across my heart

You’ll still be able to see the scar, but now you’ll see the aftercare and love that proper healing brings to a wound of this nature

I’ll be able to display this badge of courage as a reminder of the unconditional love that fixed it, rather than the evil that caused it so long ago